This could also be called the down and dirty garage sale too, because no man is ever going to read this anyway, but here goes.

I’ll even do point form because I know how much y’all like to read stuff.

#1 – Get everything to sell in one place – Clear a space in the middle of your garage so there’s room for everything you don’t want. Then start piling everything you want to sell or haven’t used in over 2 years in the pile. Ok ok, 3 years, but that’s max dude! If you haven’t used it in 3 years, it’s got to go. Then Rinse and Repeat. Go through every room and haul it to the middle of your garage floor. I like to take a plastic bin or something from room to room, so it’s easier to pack everything out to the mother pile.

#2 – Advertise/Commit – When everything is together, commit to having your garage sale this weekend by posting it on the GLICKIN Garage Sale APP. Now I know you have a hard time committing, but don’t worry. This isn’t a wedding, you can always reschedule by just deleting it, unlike the old ways to advertise, where you have to call the president to cancel. I just want you to pencil it in here. You don’t want all your crap in your quad spot anyway.

#3 – Go shopping – One more thing before the sale, go to a dollar store and buy a few Garage Sale signs for all the main corners around your house, and if you’re feeling ambitious, grab a pack or two of price tags. Also make sure you have sufficient change including small bills, if not, you’d better hit the bank too.

– Morning of the Sale –

#4 – Get up & Set up – Put all your stuff on tables if you have them, or just scatter everything over the lawn. Just try to go for rows if you can, and put like with like. Also grab that huge pile of plastic bags from under your sink and bring them out to the sale, so people can load up and keep their hands free. People tend to stop buying once their hands are full.

#5 – Put out your garage sale signs –  Try to hit the main corners around you and make sure to write GLICKIN huge in the address bar. You should also write your address in there too somewhere in case someone stops and wants to see it. But there’s no point in writing the address big because there’s never enough time to see it and remember it anyway. So just write GLICKIN in big block letters and people will know they can pull over wherever, turn on GLICKIN, and be taken right to you.

That’s about it. Go home and sell, sell, sell. If you have any spare time, try to throw those price tags on things. It does help for sure. But more importantly, greet your customers and tell them, “I’m here to sell, and anything you want is going to be a price you’re gonna like. So grab a bag and load up!”

Bonus Step #6 – Donate the left overs – Throw everything that’s left into a garbage bag to take to charity tomorrow. I like the Habitat for Humanity for any building materials or tools, and the Salvation Army for pretty much everything else. But check around as there’s probably a few great organizations to contribute too.

Then crack a cold one, if you haven’t already, and call her a job well done. Successful mission soldier! Good work!